Amanda Koster

thoughts and experiences of an international documentarian

i woke up and realized….

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we are only worth what we ask for.

is it true? sounds pretty intense, though it is starting to make sense to me. there is a deep message to it: we only ask for what we believe we are capable of receiving, worth, worthy… i watch people put together projects and realize so much is there for us if we can only ASK for it! it’s ALL there. we have the idea, the plan, the team, etc. and yet…. i watch people ask for 1/2, 1/3, nothing! put the entire plan together, and not apply for the grant, and not ask for the full amount! people tend to retreat when it comes time to ASK!


same goes for asking for help. i watch people do EVERYTHING themselves. everything. especially the things they are not good at. in fact, i watch people get wrapped up in the part they DON’T liek vs. the part the LOVE. WHY? who started this thing ‘don’t ask for help.. it’s better to do it yourself. more noble, incredible, amazing, etc..’ . i call and end to it. i understand self-sufficiency. i believe in it whole hardheartedly though there is a distinction between self-sufficiency / interdependence (both philosophies of emmerson and gandhi, my teachers) and ‘lone world syndrom.’ though there is nothing out here that only one person created. creation involves and thrives on collaboration.

I cannot spread my wings and fly to south afica to work on ‘my’ upcoming project about ms. bandi biko, steven bikos sisters. not possible. and i’m glad about it. thanks to this, i get to meet, work,collaborate and grow with so many amazing people! i would NEVER be where i a without them!


anyway. morning thoughts.

Written by amandakoster

November 14, 2009 at 5:06 pm

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